I promised you a blog an update of how my double mastectomy went and it has been 8 weeks tomorrow since this big day and I just now feel strong enough to type this...WRONG! I have felt so great these past 8 weeks, I have had a hard time sitting down to bring myself to do this.
I read a few other blogs where the authors trailed off and quit posting and I wondered, "Was it so bad they could not add to their blog?" Hopefully, they felt as great as I have and just got busy getting back to life.
I promised an update and being in a position recently where I was seeking what it would be like for myself, I owe it to others to follow through on the experience itself.
The day before my surgery- Monday, June 4th- was an incredibly busy day for me. I had my pre-op visit to the hospital and felt a lot like the days before my children were born, knowing your life is about to take a turn. It was that kind of nesting feeling and I was motivated to accomplish all kinds of tasks, many that were truly not that important (replace a watch battery?) but I was determined to cross it ALL off my list.
Hospital pre-opt visit
One of the things I enjoyed most about that day was the freedom I had and the ability to drive. I really did not know how bad I would feel and I knew I'd lose driving privileges for 3 weeks. I did not know the campus of NKC hospital as well as Liberty's so I fumbled around, parking too far away and coming in a delivery door - nice. I was sent to room where they take your vitals and a blood sample. The greeter gave me a great NKC hospital informational book I could share with my family regarding facilities surgery patients families could use and a map (including where to park!).
God has blessed me through this process with moments that reassure me He's got my back. As I sat there reading the booklet, looking at the time I realized they would be well into the surgery this time tomorrow. That made me a little anxious and in walked my nurse, so friendly and caring. After a brief chat, we realized her children attended the elementary school I teach at and she lives in my community. It was much more personal and I left with my questions answered and feeling reassured I'd be genuinely cared for.
Before I left the hospital I ventured up to the surgery waiting room, by the check in area, through the gift shop and cafe and out the door we'd all enter in tomorrow. That is my controling nature, if they'd have let me I'd love to have picked out my hospital room. I just wanted to visualize where it was all going to shake down, that is reassuring to me.
I grabbed lunch and attempted to complete my ever growing to-do list. Sonic Diet Coke, trip to Zona Rosa shopping, Target, etc. the busier I was the less I had to think about it. My neighbor dropped by with well wishes and a Subway gift card to keep us fed. Calls came in from family and friends with well wishes thru the evening, my husband's family picked up our son to spend the night with them and we said goodbye. I could have sworn it was getting hotter but it was a hot day and I was a bit stressed. By 9pm we came to grips with the idea that our air conditioner was not working.
It was a hot night and in working with the repair company we arranged a deal that the owner himself (whom we know) would come out to the house since no one would be home on surgery day. I was to take a shower before bed with a special soap to kill bacteria, but was NOT to put on deodorant-GREAT, with no air on a summer night! I could take Tylenol PM but not much was going to help me sleep on this restless night. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight, so I drank a lot through the evening and had a Nutrigrain bar about 11:50 pm.
I did sleep about 4 hours and when I awoke, knowing I'd never get back to sleep, I lie there adding more from itunes to my surgery playlist. I bet I spent a lot of $$ in those two hours, I didn't really care, I was staying calm.
I am a big Facebooker and I updated my status that I was feeling very peaceful and confident in my decision that morning. I was very calm, which I attribute to the many people who said they were praying for me. I was really experiencing that "peace that passes understanding," because this was a day I dreaded!
My thoughts were led to my five generations photo taken in 1994, so I dug it out and posted it as a tribute to the women in my family who had fought the breast and ovarian cancers. I felt I was making a decision I was lucky to be able to make, in advance...wouldn't my grandmother and great-grandmother be amazed at medical advances!
My daughter left for her job as a nanny, so we said our goodbyes. I decided packing for the hospital was easier than any trip I had been on and rather liked the simplistic nature.
I was to take another shower with my special soap, but again no deodorant! and no make up. I was told to wear comfy clothes, so I wore a bright pink workout shirt and coordinating capris my mom gave me with my sparkly flip flops. No jewelry, but I had to wear in some earrings and my cross necklace and would take it off later.
I was actually ready early and piddled around the house and with my outdoor plants. Myron said a prayer and we hugged and cried a bit and headed out the door. The happiest part of that was knowing that when I returned it would all be over.
Next entry: surgery and the hospital stay
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